A Writer's Quirk: Free Falling

Senseless and lost in a myriad of colors that just won’t stop swirling over my head. And yet, those colors seem muted somehow by an indefinable scent. It’s lacking a certain something that will make me take that last step forward, to cross that sheer curtain and finally see what lies ahead. In any case, perhaps things were meant to be this way.
Feeling as if something is missing from my life; a void that can’t be filled. It’s probably just a simple thing, but simplicity has its charms and grievances. Somehow, I must go on.
I wonder though, would it be the same without that excitement and lack of breath that comes when something is just too interesting to pass up? It’s the idea of romance that is lacking, the feeling that someone is actually appealing to our senses in that impalpable way that, even when we know that our feelings are true, it escapes our notice how exactly did we turn up this way.
It is my belief that most of us fall not for the guy or girl, not for a physical attraction or an emotional one, but for the sake of falling; for that air rushing through your skin, that weightless sensation, for the feeling that there’s a purpose to dress up nice, to put on some make up, to don high heels and a dress when there’s really no special occasion. I once heard that it’s a lie to say that you dress for yourself, that there’s always someone who you dress up for, and after some careful thought, I couldn’t agree more. Maybe in some cases there isn’t a specific person, no real focus of attention, but in any case, it only means that you’re searching for it.
But how I crave that feeling of purpose, of intention…of falling. And even if this is a shallow reason to be with someone, it just feels so damn good.

2 Comments:

At 9:37 PM, Anonymous said…

Jerry Maguire comes to mind...
At 5:07 AM, Anonymous said…

I don't think you "fall" because you just feel like it, there is an impulse that is made by someone else than you... but, not everyone has enough "strength" to push us off, and, we sometimes close our eyes and don't allow other possibilities of getting pushed by someone else... Besides, patience is a great virtue and a superb pay off.. Just keep a brighter life going, don't sink in lost feelings or past ideas. It's your life not someone elses ^^

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