| Saturday, September 09, 2006 |
| Message In a Bottle |
I like you. I don't know how much, I don't know for how long will I feel this way and I don't know how to stop. I just know that for this moment in time; this minute, this second, I like you. I just thought you should know that. |
posted by -Pri- @ 1:48 AM   |
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| Love |
 What happens with love? How do you go from a rosy haze to black, gray and pain? Simple. When you finally realize what love is. It's the most selfish feeling, emotion or thing you'll ever do. You don't really ask the other for permission to love, you just do. It would be great if that person loved you back but that's not always the case. Few people get to be that lucky.
So what is love really? Love is the ability you give someone to either make you fly or make you fall. You give another person the power to make you either the happiest person on earth or the most wretched individual to ever walk this earth.
You get all mushy with them, you make sacrifices that hurt, you struggle to see only good, to in the end just fall down into a dark pit where you don't even see the light above.
Me? I like myself when I'm not inlove. I like being free of that. I like having an edge. I like my personality when I'm not trying to please others. I like being able to say when someone does some stupid thing and later not regret it. I like not being hurt. |
| posted by -Pri- @ 1:36 AM |
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| Choices |
| I don't want to be pushed. I don't want to be ushered. My feet feel unsteady ground and everything seems like quicksand. Time has a way of showing us the right path and the truth of things. I don't want to later regret it. I want to take my time. Things just don't feel right. I feel there's something else; someone else. It's too much way too soon. I'm still shy where I shouldn't be. I don't trust myself. Things get fuzzy and I get confused. I feel my heartbeat accelerate, my breath comes in short gasps and my knees go weak. I feel like clay. Something to mold to a whim. I want to be sure of myself. I don't want to be swept away. I want to stand firm. I need strength; the strength only time will give. I need a clear head. I don't like the fog around me. I...I'm not sure anymore. I feel too much presure. I feel too much. |
| posted by -Pri- @ 1:25 AM |
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| *Enough* |
I believe in second chances. Heck, even third, fourth and fifth chances. But somewhere along the way you run out of chances and then it's time to deal with reality. What happens when all you have left is this? When you look back and see all the time you have wasted in nonesense?
There's no point in going on. Not really. So you just look for something else. You change paths and try to keep going. Your list of requirements gets larger, you learn more and have more experience for the future.
So when does it all stop? When do you tell yourself "This is what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life. This is what completes me."?
No one really knows where it's all gonna end. Well, no one really knows where it all started anyways. In your momma's belly? Before that? When you were 5 and fell of the porch? When someone first broke your heart?
Life's got a way of showing you that in the ultimate plan, you don't mean shit. Everything you do is meaningless. So we're stuck here, trying to figure who we are, what we're supposed to do and what everything really means.
Ever say to yourself "I've had enough! From now on I'll (Fill in the blank)". But later on you step on the same stone and fall, just like last time. Has it truly been enough? Or is it just something we tell ourselves to make us feel better and think that we're learning and growing up?
So what if you stumble and fall over and over again? Do you just keep picking yourself up and trying over and over again?
Every now and then we discover something new. We find something that makes us shiver all over and makes us feel all giddy inside. As always we're powerless to stop it. And then the illusion shatters and you see all the cracks that the paint covered; and still we go on.
We try to ignore those cracks and protruding weeds. We ignore all those ants and bugs that crawl over the object...and to later figure out that it was useless. You see it anyways and just can't stand it; the only difference being that you've wasted your time on it.
So there's nothing left to do but look for a new object. Try to figure out soon enough about all the nasty cracks this one has and learn a bit more. In the end all we have is a short time to spend. All the other things occupy our minds with useless bits of information and finally our limited knowledge fades away. Back into the earth.
"From dust you came and dust thou shall become" I guess the saying is true after all. Only, some people never really evolve to the second stage and retain some dust in their brains.
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| posted by -Pri- @ 12:52 AM |
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| ~Unfinished~ |
 Just look at the clock. It just struck twelve and everything is standing still. Not a mouse is moving, not a tree, not even the wind can whisper. Above all, I can't move.
Far away there seems to be a fading light. For once it looks clearer. Just a bit though. Enough to give me hope.
A moment passes by and I barely feel it. I just wander around hoping to stumble upon the path, the right path, my path.
I used to think I knew it all. Everything was simple; everything was easy. Then I crashed and my world came crashing with it. |
| posted by -Pri- @ 12:15 AM |
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| About Me |
| I'm usually a really nice person. U know the kind: funny, good listener, fun loving, talkative, bla bla bla... I can also be moody, bitchy, brutally honest and mainly a "just don't give a damn" person, but this isn't my normal style, contrary to popular opinion |
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