There are things that escape our notice. Perhaps that's not the right phrase; it's more that we know the theory and fail to practice it. It goes more along the lines of experience. So here's my story: I knew things; or at least I thought I did. I always took pride in my knowledge, in my intuition, in knowing what was best in almost any given situation and never letting others take advantage of me. I thought this was all I had to know. I knew how to avoid certain states of affairs. Till one faithful day... It was from that day forward that I realized: half of what I knew was wrong. The other half was so right it was almost scary. For all the things I gave I received nothing in exchange. For all the attention I paid, none was paid to me. That day I learned not to give. All my hope and faith got dashed away. Everything I believed in was proved wrong. That day I learned not to trust. In such a short time I discovered that people will always try to take advantage, they'll trick you and lie right in your face. I learned that words are easy to say and not mean, that it's a comodity, a card to be played. I thought that by being honest myself others would find no reason to be otherwise with me, I was taught wrong. I learned not to expect, not to believe, not to trust, not to give, not to show emotions... I learned to hide what I feel under the biggest rock, to think only the worse of people, to show no tolerance for mistakes, to fail to accept excuses. So what is really left of me? Everything and nothing at all. A thoroughly cynical person who can laugh and cry with the best but will always leave you wondering which is the true emotion. An illusion of what may be, a mystery to be discovered. Give me a reason to trust and I will. Give me a reason to believe and I will. Give me a reason to love and I will. Just don't fail to give me a reason at all.
|
